Control the Fear Read online

PART II

  The Call

  Running out of time to find the deeper meaning

  For why I’m here season after season

  Still hopelessly adrift

  With the old family there is still a rift

  Causing unnecessary tension I can hardly think with

  Waiting for the call

  To be invited to the chosen’s ball

  Blemishes and all

  Elevate this phase of the journey before the fall

  Speaking in tongues during times of stress

  Forcing me to digress

  Into a state where I always have to guess

  No certainty, everything out of balance

  Desperate now just to be given a chance

  Waiting for the call

  To be invited to the chosen’s ball

  Blemishes and all

  Elevate this phase of the journey before the fall

  Rise Above

  It’s a long way down to the bottom

  Many times I’ve reached it, feeling lost and forgotten

  But this life is a test

  Of how you handle the worst mess

  I used to give in, feeling like a roach infested pest

  But now new purpose, after gaining new incite

  Changing the course of the politico greed quest

  Balancing at the point where competition and love intersect

  Rise above the pain

  This isn’t about fame

  No more worries of who to blame

  Soon the pressure will pit us against each other

  Resistance is not futile, we will rise together, sister and brother

  Fighting the impending doom that will come too soon

  Searching

  Is there any chance it will work out again?

  For the sake of the boys, seems like should try and win

  Repair the broken ties that shouldn’t have been

  It may have gone on too long

  Separated from home

  Not knowing where to roam

  In this age of confusion

  Where there’s no way to get a loan

  Searching for my place in this world

  Life doesn’t stop, the world continues to turn

  Unsettling visions deplete the focus and energy

  Troubling revelations question the natures of my being

  Goals change and rearrange to fit into the good feeling

  Searching for my place in this world

  Life doesn’t stop, the world continues to turn

  Rise

  Quite the predicament I’ve gotten myself into

  Still barely squeaking by, but hoping I’ll eventually break through

  Long windy road to get to the other side

  Many stumbles along the way but still trying to enjoy the ride

  Rise above the fear that consumes

  More to life than simple truths

  Don’t need to always follow the rules

  Dreaming of big things, of living the big life

  It’s not enough to just try

  Need a new partner to be my ally

  Without one, makes it a lonely night

  Rise above the fear that consumes

  More to life than simple truths

  Don’t need to always follow the rules

  The Lady’s Gone

  Frozen in time, longing for the chance to go home

  Is it still there, the answer looks like no

  The lost love looks to continue on as is

  What was the conclusion or even a thesis?

  To sum up the reason it all went to pieces

  The lady’s gone tonight

  Losing the purpose of this life

  Struggling to find which way is right

  Bending to the will to feel whole again

  The chance to again be a part of something

  Cold reality tightens its grip

  Last chance to make a meaningful trip

  The energy darkens and starts to dip

  The woman’s gone and the spirit has been spent

  The lady’s gone tonight

  Losing the purpose of this life

  Struggling to find which way is right

  Farther

  The reunion committee begins planning for the next meeting

  Change is in order to process better feelings

  It may still be over, before the 2nd half’s even started

  Long lost love looks scarred and departed

  Linked forever

  Don’t need to stay together

  Go on without her

  Unless together you’ll both go farther

  Can’t start fresh, without still making a mess

  Lack of communication became a nagging pest

  Once proud difference began to tear apart

  Leaving behind the old cliché of a broken heart

  Linked forever

  Don’t need to stay together

  Go on without her

  Unless together you’ll both go farther

  Rebirth

  Retaliation brews inside the belly

  Unforgiven for all of eternity

  Blast through the age of uncertainty

  Foretold is the conclusion of the self-righteous few

  Of what is the right way and which path to choose

  Tense moment that fades quickly

  Leaving the scene feeling sickly

  Separate from dark associations that wallow in the muck

  Living care free lives relying too much on luck

  Separate from past affiliations

  Renewed existence but brief isolation

  Rebirth in the new world

  Open to all who embrace without hesitation

  Old times become distant memories

  Lost friendships and false starts cause inner injuries

  Putting the thoughts behind

  No more rewind

  Stand tall without the constricting bind

  Down and Out

  What the hell, still don’t got a job

  Debt continues to rise

  Soon I’ll be out on the lawn

  Pick up the app at the pizza place

  Deliver some pizza just to save face

  I’m down and out

  No money to count

  All alone, affirming the self-doubt

  Forget what I went to college for

  Now I’m just broke and living poor

  No helping hands in sight

  Long and lonesome is the night

  How do I make things right?

  I’m down and out

  No money to count

  All alone, affirming the self-doubt

  Useless knowledge and thoughts of the world

  Stuck in limbo, always feeling bored

  Work somewhere, anywhere to get some dough

  Money is what matters in the world we know

  Search later for the inner glow

  I’m down and out

  No money to count

  All alone, affirming the self-doubt

  Return

  Another book hastily completed

  The life that’s been cheated

  Airing out everything, feeling depleted

  Anxious time continues for too long

  Writing another heartbreak song

  Would be great to have some one

  Waiting for her return

  I won’t ever learn

  Fading thoughts twinkle in the dark sky

  How fast the time does fly

  What does happen after our time?

  Let’s get together and give a second try

  I can no longer live a lie

  Waiting for her return

  I won’t ever learn

  Decision

  It’s an early morning in the heart of nowhere

  Thinking about how long it’s gone on

  How much longer, I can hardly bare

  Open up to the persecution

  Let them
scold with quick separation

  Be who you are, but realize they don’t like who you are

  Hide your true identity to keep from scaring them

  Hurry up and fall in line before there’s no life left

  You’re not special; others like you have been easily cast aside

  Running out of time to make a stand before it’s time to die

  The decision’s been made; you’re not on our side

  March to the End

  How long will it take to feel good again?

  To feel whole again

  Is getting back together the only way?

  Long to get back to the old ways

  Freelance isolation led to sickening dark days

  Prolong the feeling of a life that weakened

  To the conforming pressure of a world longing for the end

  Continue the senseless march to the end

  Change nothing that impedes our fun

  Enjoy this brief moment in the sun, before it’s all done

  Reaching out to make some kind of amends

  Rebuilding still depends

  Things out of my control, my brain fights to defend

  Self-assurance flails in mistrust

  Family rises out of the dust

  Continue the senseless march to the end

  Change nothing that impedes our fun

  Enjoy this brief moment in the sun, before it’s all done

  Wrong

  How do others handle the world?

  What does it feel like to be self-assured?

  Confident ambivalence or aching melancholy

  Last in line for the race of the century

  The last gasp of light before it all fades away

  Are we really here to stay?

  Feel even more pointless the further this goes down

  Forget now what started it all and where it went wrong

  So the search for truth continues before it all comes unglued

  Survival in this unusual place becomes more difficult by the hour

  Dreams cut down, like a dying flower

  Hard to say how much longer it will go on

  My life continues despite that it is clearly wrong

  Bastard

  Bastard son of the marine man

  An anxious bystander with no plans

  Fortunate are those willing to wait and stand

  Given the permission to continue to live

  No thoughts on what else there is to give

  It may take forever, I can hear them exclaim

  To ever find a way off this range

  A never ending sea all the way around

  Doesn’t matter which way you go

  It’s all the same in the end

  Fight through tidal waves of oppression

  That continues to wash upon the sand

  This indecent life in the forgotten wasteland

  The loner drifter slides behind relevance

  Lost in direction, and pointless realization

  Moving forward slowly with awkward persistence

  What will he become?

  He’ll never tell anyone

  Hey Ma, Hey Pa

  Hey Ma, Hey Pa, what will it take to make you proud?

  To make you understand the things that I’m about

  No need to put me down, most people don’t understand me

  You never signed up to pay this fee

  It’s okay to not understand me

  It don’t make me crazy, or maybe it does

  But all the best people never worried of that clause

  Willing to fail and fall flat on my face

  No need though to kick me in the face

  I have my own way of making sense of time and space

  Never understood what I’m doing here

  Or why I’ve always had the fear

  It is who I am though, so there’s no need to leer

  It’s okay to be different, no need to repent

  Others have similar thoughts like me,

  With good lives they’ve kept

  Help me out and accept who I am

  Someday we’ll meet again in the promise land

  Route

  The directions are always too vague and jumbled to make any sense

  Waging the ongoing debate with father for a easing of the penance

  The duties I have don’t match the abilities I have

  Leading by example has always been my way

  Don’t know about leading the modern man these days

  Visions of a doomed future, but we already knew that

  Most don’t care or have already given in to our doomed fate

  I just want to live and not make too much of a mess

  Still unsure of which route is best

  Still stuck in a prolonged hiatus

  Banned from opportunities to board the righteous bus

  Eventually something’s gotta give

  Everyone has but one life to live

  Reveal

  The world doesn’t want to change

  They will fight to the death to keep things the same

  Those left out can only complain

  Make sure you fit into the pre-designated spots

  Otherwise you may end up just sleeping on a cot

  Not much room for the unique and different

  Too much money has been spent

  To keep things the way they’ve always been

  Born to the wrong group and you’ll be on the outside looking in

  Bust you butt to squeak by

  Knowing others have nothing to do; and will still be able to fly

  The imbalance breeds a contemptuous force

  Which will soon reveal it self

  The raging beast, running on all fours

  Cages too long, justice gone wrong

  Lock your doors

  The end of times can be avoided

  But there is still a great deal that needs to be sorted

  Mountain

  The worry doubt and accusations still continue unabated

  This tormented soul’s been desecrated

  Longing for any way to get out of this mess

  Same me, same others, it’s an ongoing test

  Still thankful for this crazy life

  Despite irrational thought by the ones who were once by my side

  High on the mountain

  Drinking from the fountain

  Uncertain future, too much knowledge left to gain

  Learned from the past, free from it at last

  Flee the sinking ship

  Even with the broken hip, no room for another slip

  The anchor pulls down with all its might

  This is the time to fight the good fight

  Before the dark shadows show their true might

  High on the mountain

  Drinking from the fountain

  Uncertain future, too much knowledge left to gain

  Script

  Just go, who cares where it end up?

  Spilling out the dogma with a hastily written script

  An unfortunate time to be burden with the wave

  Feeling the energy from a different time a place

  An uneasy feeling that never reveals its true face

  Still unsure of whose side is who

  The outcome doesn’t seem to be mine to choose

  An original cadence that is borrowed from others

  An infliction blood will not bother

  Keep the head down; they say

  Follow our way, it is the only way

  All others ways are evil and should be punished, right away

  How did the message get warped into this?

  What was the purpose of the clear signs that came before this?

  The allure of the dark is an enticing blend of self-righteousness

  And getting everything you ever wanted, easily forgetting the souls of the departed

  Struggling is not the way they say

  Instant gratifica
tion is the common place

  Rewards for nothing

  Evil transforms and consumes, infiltrating everything

  Out of control and out of balance

  Who know if we’ll ever get another chance?

  Streets of ‘Frisco

  Sleeping on the streets of San Francisco

  Trying to figure out which way to go

  Learning about the way of this crazy world

  What the hell? Was that a boy or a girl?

  Camping outside the homeless shelter

  Making friends with a meth head, and the blind man beside her

  Smoking a J in front of the masturbating man

  Damn, dude, take it inside man

  Watching the crazed girl get into a fit

  Begging for more from her knees, (maybe this isn’t my scene)

  I’m weird, but not that weird

  Smoke a J and drink some beer

  Yell in the night, beckoning the fright

  Find some lady who’s really tight

  And then get the hell outta here!

  Strange place, the land of everyone and anything

  Conformity was too harsh a sting

  You can have whatever you want,

  Line up early though if you want a cot

  Tourists speed by the freaks and tweekers

  Lost souls and failed dreamers

  Goalless seekers and underachievers

  I joined the freak movement, a devoted believer

  Great place to be weird and freaky

  Enjoy the nightlife with other lost souls

  But keep mind keen and agile, some freaks get a little frisky

  I’m weird, but not that weird

  Smoke a J and drink some beer

  Yell in the night, beckoning the fright

  Find some lady who’s really tight

  And then get the hell outta here!

  White Horse

  I can feel an ending to this chapter coming soon

  How soon, it’s too hard to tell

  Making it seems as likely as a granted wish from the well

  Smug looks from know it alls and deviants

  Arrogant attitudes that can only leave a stench

  How they stay there is anyone’s guess

  Why they deserve it is anyone guess

  I guess I must have failed that test

  Excitement grows with the chance to move on

  When will it come? The white horse gets close, saddle on

  Take hold the noble beast

  Ride away to the great feast

  Leave behind the place of misery and cheats

  The sunset beckons in glorious wonder

  Those left behind can only ponder

  My Life

  Early morning awake

  Cold dawn, holding an empty cup

  Staring off into the distance

  Still trying to make sense

  The will to survive continues to go

  Aimless direction though blocks the flow

  The stream of thought never stops

  The chance to leave behind and restart

  But no car, will have to just walk

  The pressure builds to find a designated spot

  Fit into a category that will get you what you want

  Too many options, too many interests

  Too many rules that go against instincts

  Let me live my life

  The way I’ve been is all right

  It’s fine if you don’t like it, don’t need to be uptight

  Obstacles thrown in the way, blocking the road

  Is that the one that leads to a pot of gold?

  Don’t even need that, just some purpose; the soul will not be sold

  Aligning with the good side, to hopefully get the express ride

  To the end of this era, now is the time

  Let me live my life

  The way I’ve been is all right

  It’s fine if you don’t like it, don’t need to be uptight

  Lactic Acid

  The lactic acid burns with every step

  Surge through the pain climbing off of the cliff

  The pace lags as the race gets into the later miles

  Memories flow through my mind

  Passed by one, then another

  Speed up, to keep up with my racing brother

  No more shall pass

  Fight to stay close to the pack; how long will this last?

  Lost track of the miles, body’s numb, brain starts to feel dumb

  Falling behind the pack

  Don’t look back, surge again to get close for another attack

  Quick feet, breath is running out

  One last stretch of the race to see what you’re really about

  The final stretch looms ahead in the distance

  Start the final kick now this instant

  Hot fire courses through the blood

  Runners get closer, the finish line ready for the flood

  Pass one then two right before the line

  A hard fought race that’s finally over, no worry of the time

  Symbols

  The journey isn’t done

  Takes more than words to start a revolution

  Change of thought in the modern time

  Think of things differently with less worry over what is mine

  The small group still controls just about everything

  Suffocating everyone else out, I can hardly breathe

  Symbols and ideals getting trampled to death

  Rich man fights to keep other from having good health

  Misfortunate souls seek revenge over the hand they’ve been dealt

  Faceless entities run the show

  Some born to a place with nowhere to go

  Greed is the be all end all

  Pressure builds, causing civilization to eventually fall

  Collapsing under its own unstoppable appetite

  Poor versus rich in a righteous fight

  Last chance to pick the right side

  Join us tonight

  Symbols and ideals getting trampled to death

  Rich man fights to keep other from having good health

  Misfortunate souls seek revenge over the hand they’ve been dealt

  Fled

  What do you think?

  That this is a parlor trick

  Letting ideas flow with no worry of the risk

  Control the furry that consumes

  Thoughts of lost brothers whose lives won’t resume

  Maybe in heaven, if it exists

  Maybe that’s after this place is instinct

  Early proclamations have been avoided too easily

  Causing confusion as to the reason we live life so hastily

  Hurry up and get to the end

  Before they know what hit them

  Other have already fled

  Anxious for the after instead

  Twentieth century Angels shot down in their prime

  Many are now too afraid to make this their time

  Learning from the harsh past

  Speak too loud and you won’t last

  Even if the message is peace

  Some won’t like the taste

  The ones in power will shut you down

  Speak for peace and then get shot

  Or spend your life in a cell block

  Of course you can just join the machine

  You’re not alone, it’s the new mean

  Shackles

  The ability to carve a new path is priceless

  Overcome the stagnate energy

  Persisting to consume the relentless, conforming test

  Unable to stay the same, even with the same name

  Have to reinvent to ignite the spark

  The chance to make your mark

  Anything to not bend to what they want me to be

  I have my own vision of how to be free

  Break the shackles

  Fight the machine
r />   Do more living than just in your dreams

  Not listening to their definition of the right way

  No spiked Kool-aid just for a toy to play

  Forget the batteries and the waste of energy

  Using up every last resource fleetingly

  Single serving convenience

  Leads to a harsh penance

  Break the shackles

  Fight the machine

  Do more living than just in your dreams

  Golden

  The founders roll their eyes in disgust

  The followers haven’t been able to follow the meaning of the words

  People become consumed with escalating wars

  Forgetting why the most basic principles were written

  Organizations rise in power, souls are cheated

  Many followers become consumed with hate

  Unaware they’re testing fate

  Confident in every choice they make

  Making choices the founders would never make

  The principles laid out to keep people in line, living good lives

  Have been warped by sinister forces encouraging people to senselessly die

  Devil laughs at the chaos that’s been created

  Golden rules are long desecrated

  Today

  The opportunity for a fresh start

  Presents itself today and the tension builds

  Hopeful to succeed

  Be a part of a successful team

  The mind alters course steering toward bottoming out

  I’ve already been there; I know what that’s about

  Not today, this is the day to rise above the fear

  Energy lags in the anticipation of the job that comes near

  It will happen, no more faltering

  Learn from the past and make your case

  The best of the best get their chance today

  And that one is you on this day

  Falls Behind

  Still haven’t figured out the meanings

  The revelations so vivid and dark that left my life reeling

  The fog is back to block deeper perceptions

  The federals had blocked my cure

  Now it’s money that blocks the brain from feeling pure

  Thoughts scramble and muscles twitch

  Difficult to stay on a steady think

  Keep searching for the answers

  Look out for unseen dangers

  Avoid the fear the develops the anger

  Peaceful resistance to the wall of nonsense

  Confusion to the reason for the strong persistence

  This life in the modern time falls behind

  What will the price be for our arrogance and mistrust?

  The ship flies away, leaving us waiting for the bus

  Keep searching for the answers

  Look out for unseen dangers

  Avoid the fear the develops the anger

  The Decision

  The Flame starts to diminish

  The slightest breath may blow it out

  The light will soon be gone

  Life takes its final bow

  The fighting continues

  Over what is the right way to live

  The angels move on

  They’ve given all they can give

  Nothing will stop the greed

  It consumes the souls of those in charge

  Willing to sell their souls

  To fit all their useless shit an a giant barge

  Sailing out to nowhere

  Others like them by their side

  They wallow in misery for eternity

  No one will be their guide

  The end approaches fast

  Blowing in on dark grey clouds

  We had it coming all along

  The decision to do wrong was ours

  Fight the Nonsense

  In the twilight of the fruitful years

  Those in power fight logic to sickening cheers

  The chasm widens, wider than ever before

  The Haves want even more

  The Have Nots’ soon sleeping on the floor

  The Haves tear the whole thing down just to get a bigger slice

  Tormenting the souls and health of good people, fighting the good fight

  Regular people left to fend for themselves

  Survival of the most corrupt, unethical, immoral, hate filled little elves

  Continue to push down those trying to rise through the ranks

  Anything to keep as much as possible in their bank

  No skill or talent needed

  Except unbridled greed and self-righteousness, indeed!

  Stand up and fight the nonsense

  Or we will soon pay a penance

  For allowing greed to control our existence

  Only Way

  Still debating the answers to the eternal questions

  Where do we come from?

  Are we God’s chosen ones?

  Modeled after the favorite son

  The response from above is muted but still with love

  How long can we last surviving on our own?

  Forging a future in the great unknown

  Living only for the present, ignoring the signs we’ve been shown

  And so it continues day after day

  Scrambling along fighting for the right to stay

  To stay the same, not to change a thing

  The end comes due to our own destruction,

  Anticipation builds for the final bell to ring

  The long slow gradual decline

  That we can stop, but we don’t have the time

  Wait until tomorrow when it’s all gone

  Then join hands and sing a song

  Until then live for now

  It’s the only way we seem to know how

  Modern Man

  Is there still hope for the modern man?

  Sometimes I think we can

  But so few control so much

  So many want too much stuff

  There never seems to be enough

  Only goal is growth and draining everything in site

  The annual income of the everyman, is what the coal baron made overnight

  Inheritance of wealth, the talent of those in power

  Obstructing those trying to rise, throwing stones from their tower

  The common man seems to accept his fate

  Not allowed to truly participate

  Never satisfied, those in power continue to take

  PART III: A Little on the Lighter Side

  Band Names

  Moldy Cheese

  Scapegoat Frenzy

  Keg Party

  Brain Drain

  Stone Immaculate

  Pot Brownies

  Cold Hearted Bitch

  Skank Party

  Blacked Out Drunk

  Freshman 15

  Molly Cyprus

  Running on Acid

  Teetering on the Brink

  Muhammad Smith & the Culture Shocks

  Jerry Green & the Bad Billy Band

  Aimless Direction

  The 27 Club

  Funky Freddy & the Groove Machine

  Jimmy Shithead & the Assholes

  Tweets

  Goats in daylight means two things; sunshine and happiness

  Occasionally a cheetah’s spots are made of gold, but only in the frozen tundra of Milwaukee

  Marshmallow adventures followed by proxy vote on inherent right of wildebeest to roam through Manhattan

  Don’t want to go to heaven if they don’t got Led Zeppelin

  God said, “let there be light” and then BANG, there was light

  God created the universe, it evolved from there

 
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