Let's Get Weird: Poems, Songs and Other...From a 33 Year Old Boy Navigating the American Jungle Read online

Let’s Get Weird: Poems, Songs and other…From a 33 Year Old Boy Navigating the American Jungle

  By Gary Hawkes

  Copyright Gary Hawkes 2013

  Part I

  33 Year Old Boy

  Miss time of old

  When deep discussion was about that basketball card you sold

  Enjoying life was the main concern

  No worry about the clothes my mom made for me, or how much money to earn

  There seems to be other outcast and goofballs like me out there

  I am still focused on making it, not just living without care

  I won’t need a castle to define my success

  Helping people who’ve helped me is the first test

  If we can give some power back to the people, that would be best

  ADDICTION

  Have an affliction, not quite sure of the cure

  Hopefully love, for sure

  Feel drained and out of tune

  Don’t think I can carry on till the next noon

  All the connections now seem negative

  Don’t have anything left to give

  If I don’t move

  I’ll be very much out of the groove

  What am I doing anymore, I think openly

  Losing faith in whatever this is, what value do you have if you don’t have money

  I can’t go back to her, can’t as in I’d be ill, Not sure any more of up, down, left or right

  Don’t want any more shit jobs, have had plenty

  I can feel myself slowly suffocate

  For some reason I keep waking up

  Going to keep heading south

  Nothing else to talk about

  American Dream

  Meandering through the mind field that is the American Dream

  Contemplating this life and what it means

  How long lost in the swarming fields of pacification and intolerance

  Which there seems no deliverance

  Living in such a small bubble, that is hard to escape

  Enjoy the ride as best one can, although when stuck here, the nerves start to agitate

  Follow the white horse as far as he will go

  Maintain the interest and let happiness flow

  Leave this place behind soon enough

  Try a new journey, friendship to be sought

  Hopeful musing on this cool summer night

  Even though things are barely moving along, the future is still bright

  Get back to the deal you were meant to

  Silly distractions askew the view

  It is yours for the taking, if wanted

  Be a man and step up, you’ve spent too much time stalling

  SAIL INTO TOMMOROW

  Heavenly believer

  In the passion, consumed by her

  Soul lifter

  But now no longer

  No regrets

  Of what’s left

  Nothings in jest

  Tomorrow’s the new best

  Sail into tomorrow

  No more sorrow

  Be one again

  Righteous feeling

  Everything gained

  Nothing lost

  Unknown cost

  Silent cot

  Empty lot

  Happiness sought

  Freedom bought

  Impossible, not

  Sail into tomorrow

  No more sorrow

  Be one again

  Righteous feeling

  ANGEL

  Sun sets on the warmth that was left

  Eternally grateful for what was saved, but the wondering eye has become a pest

  She was a glorious angel who saw light in him

  Giving him the confidence to continue, letting this life be

  That was long ago, the attachment no longer stable

  We will both move on, he preached, more than able

  The words wouldn’t be written, without their meeting

  But that chance encounter no longer decides the remainder of their evenings

  Now what to do with what was created

  Not able to share, the times will always be debated

  Will never again be allowed to go at true full steam

  Those two that from them are more than a dream

  The angel will care for them as long as able

  Until then the dark one waits, continues to encourage

  Preparing for the time to bring them to the table

  It is then that there will be full steam again

  Lost without them, because of his apparent sin

  BALANCE

  Always striving for balance

  Having already served my penance

  But, I am going to strive

  To keep hope alive

  It has gone on long enough

  A small group controlling so many

  So many have so little, even though we live in the land of plenty

  What will it take to reverse this inequality?

  Using our minds, working together logically

  Although, I do also listen to the right clan

  The one’s with the master plan

  Yes, educated by the Wu Tang Clan

  Our way of life is out of balance

  Some are born with so much; others aren’t even given any REAL chance

  We all know it’s wrong, but we hide behind our distractions

  Stupid computer screens, our main interactions

  Can’t be naïve to the situation

  There is hell on this plantation

  But in love there is salvation

  I refuse to be sent to condemnation

  Not sure who else in on my wave

  Or am I someone who needs to save

  Righteousness shoved down our throats

  I’m just now in mid-age beginning to sort

  I feel about the same as I did at twenty

  Just now I’m older, more beat up, heartache and fuck ups, I’ve had plenty

  But the future is still somewhat bright

  As it always it, especially when the alternative is a coffin tonight

  Our way of life is out of balance

  Some are born with so much; others aren’t even given any REAL chance

  We all know it’s wrong, but we hide behind our distractions

  Stupid computer screens, our main interactions

  Can’t be naïve to the situation

  There is hell on this plantation

  But in love there is salvation

  I refuse to be sent to condemnation

  Avoid the violence as best you can

  But when The Man corners you like a dog, Fighting is the only plan

  My soul is mush and rock all at once

  The next fight with the devil, I look forward to the chance to pounce

  On this damn negative shit that hasn’t gone away

  Enlightenment is not an easy game to play

  Despite all the injustices, war, prejudices, and general fucked up shit that divides our nation,

  I’m still eternally hopeful for the new dawn, striving for light in my own way with little hesitation

  HAPPINESS CAN’T BE BOUGHT

  Going for a bike ride to put my mind at ease

  In this cool Oregon Breeze

  Forget about the troubles over the last few months

  Happiness doesn’t have to be bought

  Blood so concerned with my behavior they want me to go to an E.R.

  T
hey don’t know me too well, see ‘em a couple times a year, we are who we are

  Sure I’ll get check out at some point

  But on my time and by my choice

  No need for constant worry about who I am

  I’ve been living this way most my life, so I know I can

  Keep surviving as long as there’s potential

  My thoughts and actions are rarely sequential

  Rode ten miles today just to get a girl’s number

  Without a woman in my life, it’s a difficult slumber

  Not even that upset about losing most the stuff I bought recently

  Not that I like it, I despise thieves

  It’s just that I’m still alive Rockin’ and Rollin’

  Forget about the things that were stolen

  Including the boys taken from me

  From the wife that used to be

  Have given me pause about what it means to be free

  Happiness can’t be bought

  Relationships should be sought

  A grain of salt with the lessons that are taught

  Happiness can’t be bought

  BLOOD TIES

  I’m no longer going to get stressed out about what my family thinks of me

  The wrath of their negativity is what’s forcing me to flee

  If religion is what give your life meaning

  I’m happy for you, but I don’t have the same feeling

  My blood ties are giving me a ride

  Right into the typhoon tide

  Don’t really want that kind of light

  I’m sailing away in my own Delorean

  Out of sync with this modern time

  I’m much more open to all different kinds of groups

  And as long as your cool, we’ve marched in the same troops

  Some causes mean more to me

  We all shoulder our own individuality

  My blood ties are giving me a ride

  Right into the typhoon tide

  Don’t really want that kind of light

  I’m sailing away in my own Delorean

  Out of sync with this modern time

  Will make it at this no matter how negative the family can get,

  There is still some fight and life in me yet

  Very difficult alone, the Ex even took my cat, the pet

  Why would you go and do a thing like that

  My blood ties are giving me a ride

  Right into the typhoon tide

  Don’t really want that kind of light

  I’m sailing away in my own Delorean

  Out of sync with this modern time

  CHOICES

  The Legend grows as the old dream fades

  Lighting the spark that will return him to the Everglades

  Fascinating endeavor that is before us

  No longer worrying about traveling by bus

  Otherwise too difficult to finish the race

  Take off soon while you still see the light

  The Others’ oppression can be a painful sight

  But in this renewed energy the distant star rejoices

  Putting our steaks in new ground,

  Heaven opened up to all who made positive choices

  COACH

  Coach Lindberg made it clear,

  It’s wrong to be a quitter

  Life is absolutely something, I’ll be a finisher

  Today will be rough Day,

  May have to reach down and grab some curlies; test the manhood today

  I may not always be the best, in fact most of my life I haven’t,

  But how you handle failure is the ultimate test

  I was never a natural but I was willing to endure pain

  That motto we’ve all heard before is absolutely how you get the most gain

  Life wasn’t meant to be easy, in fact it was meant to be hard,

  Survival of the fittest isn’t something you only practice in the yard.

  Rest when you deserve it, after a job well done,

  Otherwise you’re just fooling yourself, not helping anyone.

  CONFIRMATION

  Finished the confirmation process,

  Long ago, now I feel it was all nonsense

  More rules to keep me and the others nervous

  As if the fear of death isn’t already obvious

  Spending this whole life worrying about what happens when we die

  Seems like a complete waste of time

  Are not these institutions created by man?

  Is man really always on his best behavior in the golden plan?

  I’ve observed quite a bit in my short stay

  And it seems we still in all our time, not figured out a way

  To live together, sister and brother

  Isn’t that GOD’s plan?

  Each faith wants to prove their right

  Beat down the other with all its might

  No regard to the whole picture

  It’s only about the individual victor

  So here we are several thousands of years later

  Still fighting and warring, evil still the master

  I thought we were warned about letting evil in

  We’ve become too proud of ourselves to encourage thoughtful thinking

  There are some good ones who follow the various faiths

  It’s the people who bet bogged down in the minutia of it, memorizing everything, believing 100% of every single detail, that makes me worry for the Human Race

  Some of the worst humans on the planet claim to be religious

  And I mean all of the faiths, No religion is immune to it

  Believing so confidently in something we literally know nothing

  Forced to prove something,

  Just because hundreds or even thousands of years ago,

  A guy wrote a book, and told us so

  I still believe in GOD, talk to him, her and it all the time

  Don’t need a book for this relationship

  It’s all in our mind

  Just like it was for our ancestors 1000s of years ago, it isn’t always kind

  We want to be validated, feel like we’re right

  We should just agree, there’s more than one path to the light

  CURTAIN

  Challenges emerging

  Oh, what a glorious urging

  To see behind the curtain

  The manifestation has already begun, years before

  Although others weren’t quite so sure

  They’ll deny whatever to the end

  Not even saying evil again

  Just misunderstood this whole life

  But now alright, if others enjoy the ride

  What my life is to you

  It means quite a bit to me

  Hide behind the modern day witch hunt

  Tell the world I’m a nut

  Need to be locked up

  He’s too different to truly succeed

  Must need a prescription for that indeed

  There’s no possible way in this day and time

  For anyone to truly live his own rhyme

  Unless you’re born into the highest

  With no double standards creating a bias

  Time to sing for real but I hate having to ask

  Can’t it be like the legend of old, where the myth grows with the stories that are told?

  Hate all the digital shit

  The Real World is better, no not the stupid TV show

  The outside, real people, interacting, watching love grow and grow

  This is the place that’s best for me

  Don’t know if I’d take a cell phone, even if it was free

  Staying off the grid is good for the soul

  Able to really see life and let the good time roll

  Be cool to have cool people over and just hang out

  Make good music, record it, and let it all hang out

  Good food and vibes while it’s still cool; no need to pout

 
; I want a simpler life

  Don’t think it’s an oppressive tide

  There have been others before like me

  This world has changed too fast for me

  My tech knowledge peaked around the late nine-teen nineties

  But I will stay on the pulse of the human race

  It’s still important not to lose face

  So, open up the curtain to see the bright orange sun

  It’s okay to have fun, as long as we don’t hurt anyone

  DIRT PATH

  Where is it, why are they here, has anything been detected?

  It’s a simple assertion that’s been laid on a dirt path

  Awful reminders of what went bad

  In case of corruption, join a band

  The leaders had been sent before

  To search and destroy

  Only to be used in most dire circumstances

  A white Knight, newly born in the age of happenstance

  Engage in injustice, he’s sure to be aware

  Takes more than a little to scare

  Follow the path that has been laid out

  Soon the great exploration will discover the golden trout

  Savor the meal, it may be the last

  They don’t learn much from their past

  DONE

  Nothing to see here, the boy is all done

  In this modern age of distraction, there is no chosen one

  We like it this way, the people yell

  The bystanders lose hope, looking on in dismay

  The Army of Forgottens marches towards their death

  Not really sure who they bargained with

  I don’t know about THAT one,

  He seems too different, not the one to make a bargain

  Well, we know we’re right, our book tells us so

  But that book was written two thousand years ago

  No, my book is newer, but still pretty old I guess

  Written before the time King Henry’s wife lost her head

  I don’t know what you’re talking about

  My point exactly

  No one ever studies histories

  The idiots are in charge again

  You will be locked away if you say anything

  It is indeed true

  This deviant little shit though he could grow the devil’s brew

  A potent plant that’s been around too long

  Everyone should be locked up for singing its song

  What about the ones with the curse the plant can alleviate

  Fuck them, they think too much anyway

  I’ll gladly lock ‘em away forever, and not even hesitate

  Make him take that shit my company makes

  Who cares if it doesn’t work as well, it’s about the money we take

  What a fine world indeed

  They elect us, and we tell them what they need

  If the people get out of line

  Lock ‘em up for and indeterminate time

  But, I didn’t think that plant was dangerous

  Well of course it is,

  If the cursed ones were allowed to think, the effects would be outrageous

  Can you imagine a world where the people realized they had the real power?

  We would no longer be able to look down at them, from atop our tower

  Many of our possessions that aren’t being used,

  We’d be forced to sell, just awful abuse

  We can’t break this warped truce

  DOUBLE TALK

  Paralleling the adventures of a famous son

  Although miracles and great deeds, I’ve done none

  In the current age of high tech everything

  Feel just out of place with all the bling

  Useless shit to try and feel better

  About dying too young, or getting fatter

  Put on a proud face, no matter what you feel

  Don’t want family’s reputation revealed

  Taking my steps one at a time

  No more worry of the dime

  We the workers will have our time again

  No more political double talk to complain

  Aching alarm about hazardous connection ahead

  It can be difficult to be positive with the barrage of dread

  Taking my steps one at a time

  No more worry of the dime

  We the workers will have our time again

  No more political double talk to complain

  DREAMS OF DISILLUSION

  Disillusion with each passing moment

  The past love that has been stolen

  Try, try, try

  To make it happen again

  The one faded, but a new one can sprout again

  Hopeful opportunity in the early morning

  An anxious wait to see the new yearning

  Foreclose on the questions that have been debilitating

  Answer them now, keen to amending

  Possible that doubt will still consume the others

  At the point of resistance don’t bother

  Being true to one’s self has a happy ending

  The bold sickness has sprouted a new flower, treason they say

  Why won’t you do it our way?

  It is in this that the chances are redeemed

  To live the life that had only been in dreams

  KING’S TABLE

  The particulars are getting sorted out

  For what the new wave’s plan is about

  Glide the lightening back to the cave

  Even if it’s a sunny day

  Hellish ambivalence to what has become

  The purpose for this boy and what he has done

  He broke the rules too many times to be allowed to speak

  Across the King’s table about the company the boy keeps

  If you want a spot at the table

  Demonstrate you are able

  To use common sense and be reliable

  This is not one with a crucible

  My religion isn’t one pronounced in a book

  More a catchy tune with a great hook

  Can’t always be consumed with getting through to people

  Not all good people prey in a steeple

  If you want a spot at the table

  Demonstrate you are able

  To use common sense and be reliable

  This is not one with a crucible

  PRESS ON

  Pressing on without regard

  For the boy’s own goofy struggles, others considered hard

  Well if he ain’t going to take charge

  The wolves will be out again selling at the bars

  Few suspicions left to get in order

  No, I do not come from the land of Mordor

  The caged beast has become restless with the particulars

  About who, what and the onlookers

  In this chance game that used to be hers

  It’s time to reckon with the deal,

  That was made, in the glade

  Long ago

  It has been told, that the future is unsold

  At least the bargain said so

  For with the surprise ending at the beginning of that sweet carol

  The boy realized he was able,

  To have some control of his own story

  But other member aren’t quite sure

  What the plan is,

  ‘Cause there isn’t one

  Being free, feeling love, friend of a spirit pure

  Is really the boy’s only cure

  EGGS

  When you only have a few eggs

  Might as well put ‘em all in one basket

  Otherwise, what chance do you have to make it

  Money isn’t everything, but it sure would be nice to have more

  I don’t need to feel like a king,

  Just to be able go out once in a while, show a girl a good time

  Let my boys live in style

  Right now I’m squeaking b
y,

  It’ll get better soon won’t it? I don’t have a great alibi as far as why

  It’s not like I haven’t given it a try

  Do I have any friends, I think so

  Would they say that about me, I don’t know

  Haven’t been around much for others to really know

  Allowing a friendship to actually grow

  I feel isolated due to my own actions

  But I hope I can get a woman soon and bring some satisfaction

  ELITES

  Fortunate hope is coming soon

  Will it wash the recent gloom?

  Hard to handle being worth nothing

  Must have income for life to be worth anything

  Hate that it’s this way

  But there’s not much for me to say

  Have to bust your butt to make those companies grow

  The elites live off the growth, they’re in on the know

  Their wealth is reliant on the value of companies

  Ones that millions of Americans work, for just pennies

  But the elites are never satisfied, they always need more

  Even when their fifth vacation house is near the ocean shore

  Fighting to keep every single penny in their pocket, when they already have too much

  While many Americans don’t have enough food to touch

  They arrogantly point fingers, saying it’s the poor’s fault

  Then the elites use their power and money to cut education, so the poor can’t be taught

  Without the skills and knowledge, the poor have no chance

  So, then the elites can sing and prance

  But the educated working class, we KNOW better

  We can reverse the tide, by sticking together

  The elites have no ability to operate sewers, build roads or work the power plants

  Some don’t even know how to pump their own gas

  They’ve become useless, only consumed with greed

  When they take over profitable companies, to keep our job, we still have to beg and plead

  It’s only about the bottom line, profit

  No concern for others’ Happiness indeed

  We’ll have to be the ones to reverse the imbalance it seems

  THE ELITES: